It's coming back

It's back. I tried to run away. I tried to keep myself busy, even though there was nothing much to do at work for two days. Then, I got busy. The seniors seem to like to work in sync, passing me work to do in the span of just one hour. I tried to be busy cooking. Preparing dinner and packing lunch for the next day. I also packed breakfast all ready to be toasted and eaten in the morning.

And then, the email came. The feeling of guilt covered me and I tried to hide in its wings. No, it's too early. Ask me later I yelled. I don't want to think about it. Give me time. But you had time to think about it. Make up your mind!

I'm still selfish. Holding on to another job in NSW. I haven't decided...still. I know it's terrible of me. Lord, please show me what to do. Please reveal your heart's desire. Please, let me see your will. Amen.